on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
