Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize