You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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