Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
