I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I could fuck to npr.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
