Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
