escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
