I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
