Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize