just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
