We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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