With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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