how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
