They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
