i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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