Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Houston, we have a blender
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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