Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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