Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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