As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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