just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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