just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
