spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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