you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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