When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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