he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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