I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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