Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
