My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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