Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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