Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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