is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We are two peas in an std pod
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
