i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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