you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
