Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
