It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize