he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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