I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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