he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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