You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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