I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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