I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
