I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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