I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize