i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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