well I can't set my house on fire every night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
