wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
