he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize