i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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