What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
