You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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