I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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