the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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