For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
