Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize