why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
